It's not gonna come out like I wanna say it

Some people, like my best friend, aren't in to updating their facebook status ever. Some people, like me, take great joy in updating it a few times a day. We each believe that we are somehow superior to the other for our choice. That's fine though, because we realize that and are best friends anyway.

Because I'm such a seasoned status updater, I have a few tips and tricks for being able to regularly update your facebook status and still be "cool." (Because I'm cool... right? Please tell me I'm cool!)

1. It's best NOT to update more than once in a 3 hour span, though it is sometimes acceptable. You really just need to read the situation and decide if a new update would merit better response. Sometimes, if I choose to do this (like when posting football scores/reactions) I will go back later and delete those updates that didn't garner feedback.
2. Airing your dirty laundry over your facebook status is NEVER a good idea. Don't sling mud at an ex, don't bare your frustrations at close friends, don't divulge details that you wouldn't say in public to the amount of friends you have - because essentially you are public speaking and no one wants to feel awkward after reading something like this "I guess we weren't worth it after all. Thanks for wasting my time."
3. Song lyrics are ok but try not to make them too morose or angry. People will start to worry about you. Also, see #2 about how nobody likes feeling awkward. Too many angry lyrics (especially when it's not clear that it's lyrics you're posting) are just going to lead to people hiding you in their feed.
4. When it comes to details, less is usually more. If you are really frustrated with a headache and want to share that with your friends, that's fine. Use something like "Marissa wishes this headache would LEAVE." Do not use something like this: "Marissa has had a migraine headache for 3 days and just wants to cry because it's so bad I took like 6 ibuprofen and it's not getting better maybe I'll go to the Doctor tomorrow oh well it's off to bed tonight I hope I can sleep with this knife like pain in my skull."
5. On a related note, it's also fun to withhold details as little teasers to leave some to the imagination of your readers. "Marissa is ready for some action packed fun" might be more fun to read then "Marissa is going to go dancing then play some skip bo and watch some football this weekend." Always leave them wanting more. That's really the key to any status update.