Here are a few things that I am not embarrassed to admit (though I probably should be).
1. Billy Ray Cyrus was my first celebrity crush, and like one's first love, will not be forgotten. I still love him (whether it means laughing at him on an occasional episode of "Hannah Montana" or smiling every time I hear "Achey Breaky Heart." Furthermore, I have at least 3 full Billy Ray albums on my iPod... and not ironically.)
2. I'm usually asleep by 9:30pm on weeknights. 11pm is late. Anything after that and I will be a wreck the next day. If I don't get a full night's sleep I don't function. Even near the end of my college days I was asleep by 11:30pm on weeknights.
3. One of my favorite Pandora Stations is the one I have that is heavy on Pat Benatar, The Bangles, and Tiffany.
4. I will wear red EVERY FRIDAY before a Chiefs game once football season starts.
5. I still have and cuddle my childhood teddy bear. His name is Francis and he is ragged and tattered.
6. It's not unlike me to read a full book (300 pages+) in its entirety on a Friday night. Also, yes, I am 24 years old with a public library card. Proud of it.
7. I LIKE school. A lot.
8. I have mowed my own lawn exactly one time in 4 years of living on my own. That has been the one time I have ever operated a lawn mower at all. It took me 30 minutes to get it started.
9. I wear jeans until they get a visible stain on them before washing them.
10. I kind of want to read the dictionary.
11. On Saturday I went out to a bar and ordered "a virgin long island iced tea" just for kicks.
12. I eat something small every two hours so I never feel hungry. Hungry puts me in a bad place. You won't like me when I'm hungry.
13. My signature dance move - "the flail."
14. Freerice.com? A favorite.
15. Newest goal? To take practical measures to make my life more like a broadway musical.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Sunday, July 19, 2009
I'd like to die with the songs I love stuck in my head.
At any given point, on any given day, I've got music playing. If I'm in a place where this isn't feasible (like class, or a meeting), then I have a song in my mind. It's likely one of the most recent songs I've heard, but I am occasionally surprised by what I find myself mentally karaoke-ing.
I've often marveled at my attachment to music. I don't just enjoy it... I rarely do anything without it. It's almost a physical need I have in my life like air, water, and food. It's a form of sustenance to me. I don't know why this is, though I am certainly not alone in my love of music and language arts in my family. I say language arts because my attachment to music, though instrumentals can certainly move my heart, lies primarily in the lyrics. I'm fascinated by the metaphors of life illustrated in song. A pretty melody and some outstanding accompaniment is certainly important... but it's the lyrics that usually truly get to me.
I find myself looking for ways to get and hear more and more music, of many varieties. My taste is described most accurately as eclectic. Old, new, fast, slow, loud, soft, it doesn't matter. I can usually find something to like about it. I just love the experience of it all.
I'd like to take that passion and desire to know the music, lyrics, and artists and apply that to people in general. What if everyone is just a different song, with lyrics and instrumentals that sing of passions and experiences? I'm certain there is at least one thing to if not LIKE about everyone, at least to appreciate.
Back in high school, my best friend and I used to have a rule where if we caught ourselves speaking negatively about someone, we would stop and think of 3 positive aspects of that person. Sometimes it was a stretch, and sometimes our motivations weren't necessarily pure, but I still found it helpful. That might be something to reconsider doing again. Lately I've been making snap judgments in my head, which I believe to be harmful to myself as well as how I treat others.
I espouse a lot of unconditional positive regard and acceptance, but inwardly I find that I don't always adhere to a value I claim to be so important. We're all hypocrites sometimes. If we can recognize that and work to counteract it, I can't help but believe that we'd all be a little happier.
I've often marveled at my attachment to music. I don't just enjoy it... I rarely do anything without it. It's almost a physical need I have in my life like air, water, and food. It's a form of sustenance to me. I don't know why this is, though I am certainly not alone in my love of music and language arts in my family. I say language arts because my attachment to music, though instrumentals can certainly move my heart, lies primarily in the lyrics. I'm fascinated by the metaphors of life illustrated in song. A pretty melody and some outstanding accompaniment is certainly important... but it's the lyrics that usually truly get to me.
I find myself looking for ways to get and hear more and more music, of many varieties. My taste is described most accurately as eclectic. Old, new, fast, slow, loud, soft, it doesn't matter. I can usually find something to like about it. I just love the experience of it all.
I'd like to take that passion and desire to know the music, lyrics, and artists and apply that to people in general. What if everyone is just a different song, with lyrics and instrumentals that sing of passions and experiences? I'm certain there is at least one thing to if not LIKE about everyone, at least to appreciate.
Back in high school, my best friend and I used to have a rule where if we caught ourselves speaking negatively about someone, we would stop and think of 3 positive aspects of that person. Sometimes it was a stretch, and sometimes our motivations weren't necessarily pure, but I still found it helpful. That might be something to reconsider doing again. Lately I've been making snap judgments in my head, which I believe to be harmful to myself as well as how I treat others.
I espouse a lot of unconditional positive regard and acceptance, but inwardly I find that I don't always adhere to a value I claim to be so important. We're all hypocrites sometimes. If we can recognize that and work to counteract it, I can't help but believe that we'd all be a little happier.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
So close to reaching that famous happy ending...
I've been heading out to the Indian Creek Trails after work on days when I don't have to go to class. It's a lot of fun. Anyhow... I'm usually by myself with my music. Today, however, was a little bit different. About 2 songs into it my run, I glanced up and saw a black lab coming from the bushes.
Now initially, he gave me a bit of a start. But I saw pretty quickly that he was friendly. He ended up following me for the majority of my run. It was nice to have some company. I began to worry about him though. Where did he come from? Would he follow me all the way to my car? Could I leave him alone in the park and still be able to live with myself? What if he got lost or hurt?
Of course, I've got an overactive imagination and I'm a little pathetic. My mind began to wander while I ran next to the dog. We'd been running together for about 10 minutes and I already had written a Meg Ryan movie in my head. You know the type. Boy has dog. Boy's dog runs away, girl finds dog, calls the number on the collar, meets boy. Boy turns out to be handsome, smart, sensitive but still manly, pretty much perfect. Girl and boy fall in love but then have to overcome some sort of obstacle (maybe Gonzo and the dog don't get along, or the guy finds out that I don't really like dogs). Eventually there's a happily ever after.
In my version of the movie, Demetri Martin plays the dog owner. I don't know though, I wouldn't want him to "sell out". I would settle for George Clooney. Anyhow, that's how it would go if it were a movie.
I never got to find out how it would go in real life because as we were running on the part of the trail that goes by the street, a silver SUV pulled over. I stopped to make sure that the dog stopped, because I knew what was going on. What we had here, was a dog owner. Out of the car stepped a pretty good looking guy. For a moment I thought that this could be like the movie afterall! Of course, then I remembered that while in a move, the star on a run would have a slight glow, a friendly smile, and and would barely be fatigued. I, on the other hand, was disheveled, with messy hair, and I likely had eyeliner running down my face with the sweat. Who knows what this guy saw. Anyhow, he thanked me, took his dog (who's name was Beau) and was on his way.
I suppose I'll live out my chick flick love story another day.
P.S: Confession time. I was tempted to quote both Taylor Swift AND Miley Cyrus in my title to this post. Of course, I would have been doing it ironically and not genuinely. I had to nearly physically restrain myself.
Now initially, he gave me a bit of a start. But I saw pretty quickly that he was friendly. He ended up following me for the majority of my run. It was nice to have some company. I began to worry about him though. Where did he come from? Would he follow me all the way to my car? Could I leave him alone in the park and still be able to live with myself? What if he got lost or hurt?
Of course, I've got an overactive imagination and I'm a little pathetic. My mind began to wander while I ran next to the dog. We'd been running together for about 10 minutes and I already had written a Meg Ryan movie in my head. You know the type. Boy has dog. Boy's dog runs away, girl finds dog, calls the number on the collar, meets boy. Boy turns out to be handsome, smart, sensitive but still manly, pretty much perfect. Girl and boy fall in love but then have to overcome some sort of obstacle (maybe Gonzo and the dog don't get along, or the guy finds out that I don't really like dogs). Eventually there's a happily ever after.
In my version of the movie, Demetri Martin plays the dog owner. I don't know though, I wouldn't want him to "sell out". I would settle for George Clooney. Anyhow, that's how it would go if it were a movie.
I never got to find out how it would go in real life because as we were running on the part of the trail that goes by the street, a silver SUV pulled over. I stopped to make sure that the dog stopped, because I knew what was going on. What we had here, was a dog owner. Out of the car stepped a pretty good looking guy. For a moment I thought that this could be like the movie afterall! Of course, then I remembered that while in a move, the star on a run would have a slight glow, a friendly smile, and and would barely be fatigued. I, on the other hand, was disheveled, with messy hair, and I likely had eyeliner running down my face with the sweat. Who knows what this guy saw. Anyhow, he thanked me, took his dog (who's name was Beau) and was on his way.
I suppose I'll live out my chick flick love story another day.
P.S: Confession time. I was tempted to quote both Taylor Swift AND Miley Cyrus in my title to this post. Of course, I would have been doing it ironically and not genuinely. I had to nearly physically restrain myself.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
We're only just as happy as everyone else seems to think we are.
I've decided to give grades to years/parts of years. That way I have a quantitative measure of how my year went. I tend to be positive, so I always think things are pretty good... which is fine. However, the second half of 2008 got a D (ick) in my mind and the first half of 2009 is sitting at a C.
Why am I doing this? Because I want to be better at journaling/blogging/what have you and because I can. I'm not going to go into detail as to why past full year (2 previous half years) has gotten an undesirable grade. That's over and done with. What I am going to do is work on recognizing the good things (and the challenges) that I am presented with and acknowledge them as such.
So, like I said, 2009 did not start off on the right foot. (Think: family health problems, job loss, similar drama.) I have faith that it can come back and at least average out at a respectable "B." Part two started on July 1st, and I believe has kicked off positively. I spent the first weekend of the second half of 2009 (and also Independence day) in Lake Ozark with my family.
Ultimately, I am hoping for this project to be an illustration of the fact that there can be good in life amidst bad things that happen to everyone. I believe, that if everything is noted comprehensively, I'll find that overall things are really good. It is just that when bad things happen they tend to replace the good in one's mind and make it hard to recall them. I don't want that to happen. So, I'll be keeping a log of good and bad things that happen and giving them weights. When 6 months is up, I'll tally the scores. Don't be surprised to find that the good outweighs the bad.
Why am I doing this? Because I want to be better at journaling/blogging/what have you and because I can. I'm not going to go into detail as to why past full year (2 previous half years) has gotten an undesirable grade. That's over and done with. What I am going to do is work on recognizing the good things (and the challenges) that I am presented with and acknowledge them as such.
So, like I said, 2009 did not start off on the right foot. (Think: family health problems, job loss, similar drama.) I have faith that it can come back and at least average out at a respectable "B." Part two started on July 1st, and I believe has kicked off positively. I spent the first weekend of the second half of 2009 (and also Independence day) in Lake Ozark with my family.
Ultimately, I am hoping for this project to be an illustration of the fact that there can be good in life amidst bad things that happen to everyone. I believe, that if everything is noted comprehensively, I'll find that overall things are really good. It is just that when bad things happen they tend to replace the good in one's mind and make it hard to recall them. I don't want that to happen. So, I'll be keeping a log of good and bad things that happen and giving them weights. When 6 months is up, I'll tally the scores. Don't be surprised to find that the good outweighs the bad.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Music, the great communicator...
So, last weekend marked the beginning of summer... and with summer comes my seasonal playlist. I had a weekly playlist blog but that was too much. Anyhow, over the past few years I've been really consistent about the summer list, so I'm going to keep up that tradition now. It should be noted... these are not necessarily songs that just came out this summer. Rather, they are songs that I am relating to for this summer.
Marissa's 5th Annual Summer Playlist - 2009
One Day - Matisyahu (I freaking love this song. It doesn't get old for me. I've been listening to a lot of his stuff more lately.)
Busy People - The Limousines (but we always have time for new friends...)
Queen of the World - Ida Maria (Her single is "I Like You So Much Better When You're Naked," and I love that... but when I was doing some further listening into her stuff I discovered this one. I also love "Wherever You Go" but this one is more conducive to summer fun)
Folding Chair - Regina Spektor (her new album was released Tuesday. This song is very peppy, quirky, and fun like a lot of her stuff. I wish I had this kind of talent.)
Close to Me (Cure cover) - The Get Up Kids (I heard this as a teaser in a promo for their upcoming September concert in KC... immediately had to have it.)
Shindig - Red Hot Chili Peppers (Some peppers "pep" up the summer indeed.)
Anything Anything - Dramarama (Old. School. And, awesome)
Buddy Holly - Weezer (I'm seeing Weezer live in September! Heyo!)
Could You Be Loved - Bob Marley (Wow, Bob Marley AND Matisyahu. Someone's feeling a little reggae this summer...)
Time to Pretend - MGMT (I also very much like their current single, "Kids.")
Now We Can See - The Thermals (Thanks to the TV show "Chuck" for introducing me to this song.)
Hold On - Wilson Phillips (No, seriously.)
Uptown Girl - Billy Joel (I always like to have a little fun at the end of my playlists...)
Marissa's 5th Annual Summer Playlist - 2009
One Day - Matisyahu (I freaking love this song. It doesn't get old for me. I've been listening to a lot of his stuff more lately.)
Busy People - The Limousines (but we always have time for new friends...)
Queen of the World - Ida Maria (Her single is "I Like You So Much Better When You're Naked," and I love that... but when I was doing some further listening into her stuff I discovered this one. I also love "Wherever You Go" but this one is more conducive to summer fun)
Folding Chair - Regina Spektor (her new album was released Tuesday. This song is very peppy, quirky, and fun like a lot of her stuff. I wish I had this kind of talent.)
Close to Me (Cure cover) - The Get Up Kids (I heard this as a teaser in a promo for their upcoming September concert in KC... immediately had to have it.)
Shindig - Red Hot Chili Peppers (Some peppers "pep" up the summer indeed.)
Anything Anything - Dramarama (Old. School. And, awesome)
Buddy Holly - Weezer (I'm seeing Weezer live in September! Heyo!)
Could You Be Loved - Bob Marley (Wow, Bob Marley AND Matisyahu. Someone's feeling a little reggae this summer...)
Time to Pretend - MGMT (I also very much like their current single, "Kids.")
Now We Can See - The Thermals (Thanks to the TV show "Chuck" for introducing me to this song.)
Hold On - Wilson Phillips (No, seriously.)
Uptown Girl - Billy Joel (I always like to have a little fun at the end of my playlists...)
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
No need to say goodbye.
So, I've really been obsessing over this song by Regina Spektor called "The Call." It was in the Prince Caspian soundtrack, but I've yet to see the movie. She had a new album come out today and I've listened to it obsessively as well, but this song is so meaningful that I'd like to share it.
Click here to hear the song.
The instrumentals are beautiful, but what really touches me in this song (as in most songs that move me) are the lyrics. To me she's describing this developing passion for something in life that is bigger than oneself. It's a passion that I was full with while at LVR and that I'm working on finding again now. To have a "battle cry" to me means to have something to pursue and try to achieve with my whole heart. I'm attracted to people (for friendships... and otherwise I'm sure) who have a drive or passion for something in their heart. I'm not talking about career advancement or money. I'm talking about what moves you. What is it that gets you out of bed in the morning? What experiences do you want to make for yourself?
I also especially related to the end where she sings "just because they can't feel it too doesn't mean that you have to forget." It's important to give yourself permission to re-experience your awesome memories. Better to be thankful that you got to experience such things than to be bitter that they're not happening anymore.
I've decided to volunteer on my weekends. The idea of providing something for others is really important to me and I've been very selfish with my time lately. Granted, I work full time and am going to grad school... but this Summer is pretty light and I have weekends fairly open. It seems like I can always make time for the things that are important. So, that's what I'm doing. Volunteering is important and therefore I will make time for it. Altruism aside, it's also a good way to hone interests and gain clarity or insight on life goals. Also, the places I'm looking at offer me some good practice in counseling. I hope to find the niche where my joy and the world's need meet... and then make a difference that way.
Click here to hear the song.
The instrumentals are beautiful, but what really touches me in this song (as in most songs that move me) are the lyrics. To me she's describing this developing passion for something in life that is bigger than oneself. It's a passion that I was full with while at LVR and that I'm working on finding again now. To have a "battle cry" to me means to have something to pursue and try to achieve with my whole heart. I'm attracted to people (for friendships... and otherwise I'm sure) who have a drive or passion for something in their heart. I'm not talking about career advancement or money. I'm talking about what moves you. What is it that gets you out of bed in the morning? What experiences do you want to make for yourself?
I also especially related to the end where she sings "just because they can't feel it too doesn't mean that you have to forget." It's important to give yourself permission to re-experience your awesome memories. Better to be thankful that you got to experience such things than to be bitter that they're not happening anymore.
I've decided to volunteer on my weekends. The idea of providing something for others is really important to me and I've been very selfish with my time lately. Granted, I work full time and am going to grad school... but this Summer is pretty light and I have weekends fairly open. It seems like I can always make time for the things that are important. So, that's what I'm doing. Volunteering is important and therefore I will make time for it. Altruism aside, it's also a good way to hone interests and gain clarity or insight on life goals. Also, the places I'm looking at offer me some good practice in counseling. I hope to find the niche where my joy and the world's need meet... and then make a difference that way.
Friday, June 12, 2009
We didn't light it but we tried to fight it...
This sign is posted right by the elevators in my office:
I agree. It is very sound advice. If there is a fire in the building, you don't take the elevator. Everyone knows that. I do take umbrage, however, with the picture. Look at the placement of the fire in question. It's in the stairwell! If the fire is in the stairwell, I'm not taking the stairs. I'll risk falling to my death from a window, thanks.
Additionally, look at the placement of the ambiguous figure on the stairs. Not only does it appear to be much too calm in regards to the situation at hand, but has somehow managed to get past the fire in the stairwell. Given where he/she is located in relation to the fire, here are a few possibilities:
1. This individual is impervious to fire. Hopefully, he/she uses this power for good and not just for dumb party tricks.
2. This a-hole stick figure started the fire. Maybe the company stole his stapler.
3. The person is psychic, but also selfish.
4. The figure is actually a firefighter, walking up the stairs backwards to avoid smoke inhalation. This hardly seems the quickest or smartest way to move into a burning building, but I'm not a firefighter. I can't judge.
5. The person crossed through the flame, but is not impervious to fire. He/she clearly lost an arm in the process.
I agree. It is very sound advice. If there is a fire in the building, you don't take the elevator. Everyone knows that. I do take umbrage, however, with the picture. Look at the placement of the fire in question. It's in the stairwell! If the fire is in the stairwell, I'm not taking the stairs. I'll risk falling to my death from a window, thanks.
Additionally, look at the placement of the ambiguous figure on the stairs. Not only does it appear to be much too calm in regards to the situation at hand, but has somehow managed to get past the fire in the stairwell. Given where he/she is located in relation to the fire, here are a few possibilities:
1. This individual is impervious to fire. Hopefully, he/she uses this power for good and not just for dumb party tricks.
2. This a-hole stick figure started the fire. Maybe the company stole his stapler.
3. The person is psychic, but also selfish.
4. The figure is actually a firefighter, walking up the stairs backwards to avoid smoke inhalation. This hardly seems the quickest or smartest way to move into a burning building, but I'm not a firefighter. I can't judge.
5. The person crossed through the flame, but is not impervious to fire. He/she clearly lost an arm in the process.
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