I’m working on choosing my anthem for my 25th year of life. I guess it’s the 26th year because I’ll have already lived 25 years. Either way, it’s my anthem for the age of 25. You get it. Everyone needs an anthem, right? It’ll be kind of like a theme song for the year. It would be nice if it made some sort of reference to the year 25, but it doesn’t necessarily have to.
Currently, I’m really thinking of Praise Chorus, an oldie but a goody from Jimmy Eat World. Lyrics here. Listen here. It mentions being 25 and it’s all about making things happen for yourself. That’s one option. One really, really good option.
I love “Somebody to Love” by Queen as a choice but that seems a little one track minded. Another option from Queen is “Don’t Stop Me Now” which is up there in my top 5 favorite Queen songs (Bohemian Rhapsody, Don’t Stop Me Now, Somebody to Love, Fat Bottomed Girls, We Will Rock You) I’m a little concerned about choosing any Queen song as my anthem because it just seems so flamboyant. (Flamboyantly genius anyway).
Should I have a certain goal in mind before I choose a song? Like something I will ultimately strive for as a 25 year old and therefore need a song to back me up? It’s a thought to consider. I tend to think AFTER things a lot more than I think BEFORE them. So, it’s likely that a song will strike me (like Praise Chorus kind of did) and then I will extrapolate from that to apply to my life.
I think you know what I’m leaning toward at this point, but if someone convinces me otherwise before October 1st, that’s fine too. Some life themes that are important to integrate into the song are: positivity, enthusiasm, self sufficiency, love (why not?), friendship, and fun.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Sugar, aw honey honey, you are my candy girl, and you got me wanting you
Sigh. I'm just going to blog about this once and then get on with my life. My hopes are that it is just a very effective publicity stunt.
If the good girl can't even get the guy in a happy go lucky ideal fictional world, what hope is there for those of us nice girls battling against the grain in the real world?
You know what, I've changed my mind. Maybe Betty won after all. Archie doesn't deserve Betty, having treated her so terribly for what is it now? 67 years? Well, I started reading these things when I was like 8 (I promise I haven't still been reading them all these years... but it's been in the news) and he's treated her as a second choice option when Veronica is not available that whole time. He'll get what he chose, and that's someone that treats him the same way he treated someone who so dearly cared about him. In fact, guys like Archie (likable as he may seem) probably just deserve to end up alone. By disregarding someone who has regularly and consistently demonstrated genuine care for him despite how poorly he treats her, he demonstrates that he has no moral fiber or character, and is only in it for his own gain. Selfish. Sure he and Betty have a lot in common, they have a good time together, and when it suits him he treats her very well. That's not enough though. He's got to learn to pause for a moment and think about someone else's needs other than his own. When that happens, it will be the real news story.
Now that I've gone through this thought process, I hope that it doesn't turn around and land him with Betty. She should find someone who appreciates her and isn't such a douchebag. Maybe Betty and I could join the same dating site. That was a joke. Really. Never take me too seriously.
If the good girl can't even get the guy in a happy go lucky ideal fictional world, what hope is there for those of us nice girls battling against the grain in the real world?
You know what, I've changed my mind. Maybe Betty won after all. Archie doesn't deserve Betty, having treated her so terribly for what is it now? 67 years? Well, I started reading these things when I was like 8 (I promise I haven't still been reading them all these years... but it's been in the news) and he's treated her as a second choice option when Veronica is not available that whole time. He'll get what he chose, and that's someone that treats him the same way he treated someone who so dearly cared about him. In fact, guys like Archie (likable as he may seem) probably just deserve to end up alone. By disregarding someone who has regularly and consistently demonstrated genuine care for him despite how poorly he treats her, he demonstrates that he has no moral fiber or character, and is only in it for his own gain. Selfish. Sure he and Betty have a lot in common, they have a good time together, and when it suits him he treats her very well. That's not enough though. He's got to learn to pause for a moment and think about someone else's needs other than his own. When that happens, it will be the real news story.
Now that I've gone through this thought process, I hope that it doesn't turn around and land him with Betty. She should find someone who appreciates her and isn't such a douchebag. Maybe Betty and I could join the same dating site. That was a joke. Really. Never take me too seriously.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
These are a few of my favorite things
Raindrops on roses and… oh wait. I’m not Julie Andrews (though we do share a birthday – October 1st!)
Really though, here are five things that, of late, I like a whole lot.
1. This article in The Onion. Being no stranger to panic attacks, I feel that it is a hilarious and accurate depiction. Read it. You won’t be sorry.
2. This selection from my friend Erica’s blog. "It is unfortunate that people like you and I are so thoughtful and clever that we dream up cool things to be done for us, because really no boy is probably ever going to be able to live up to these high expectations. And not because they're bad guys, but because they ARE guys." It’s a life truth. Thanks Erica.
3. Soup – most kinds. I don’t care if it’s August. My office is freezing every day and it’s about the only thing bar coffee that can help.
4. Mix CDs – making and receiving them. I just had a fun mix cd exchange with some facebook friends and had the greatest time picking out music to share. I expect the fruits of my project in my mailbox anytime.
5. Poetry… or rather, the idea of poetry. I love song lyrics so much I’ve been really interested in the idea of familiarizing myself with more poets. In fact, being the “avid” reader that I am, I feel a little ashamed that I haven’t pursued this yet. I figure it will be best to start with some classics like Robert Frost and Walt Whitman, but if you have any of your own favorites you’d like to share I’m open to suggestions. In the meantime, I'm in love with this short poem "A Question" by Robert Frost. "A voice said, Look me in the stars/And tell me truly, men of earth,/If all the soul-and-body scars/Were not too much to pay for birth"
Well, that's all.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Talking trash to the garbage around you...
I wish I had something more interesting to blog about, like the many flaws of creating chewy versions of candies that were not originally intended to be chewy (examples include Gobstoppers, Sweet Tarts, Sprees, etc). However, I am not Willy Wonka. I do not possess candy expertise. I just know what I like.
Instead, look at this picture:
This is a big dumpster sitting in my driveway. I’m throwing a LOT of junk away this weekend. The benefits of this are innumerable, but let me try to list a few anyway:
1. It is the first of a few steps that I will be taking to make my place more conducive for football watching and other gatherings. Now that I have this excellent TV and couch, I feel that I should have people over to enjoy them. However, my house has not been the type of place that I would feel comfortable inviting people to. Plus, when I return from my Louisiana trip next weekend, I’ll be coming home to a house unburdened by the weight of useless items.
2. It is LIBERATING getting rid of stuff. I don’t need you, material items! I am my own person! No longer will I feel imprisoned by the amount of unnecessary things clogging my space!
3. It is a project that requires some physical activity. It will get the heart rate up, while at the same time be productive in a household sense. Talk about killing two birds with one stone.Not that I have anything personal against birds, though I'm not a huge fan.
4. I just like to have a project. Hopefully, as I will be paying for the use of this dumpster, this won’t be one of those things that I start to do and then get tired of and quit halfway through.
Duplex, be prepared to be rid of everything unnecessary in the pantry, garbage from the garage, and anything else I just don’t feel like I need.
Hurray!
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
So give them blood, blood, gallons of the stuff
Nobody makes me bleed my own blood.
Ok, that's not entirely true. Yesterday, I gave blood. I got a cool bandage with purple hearts and a great sticker so that everyone could see what a superhero I am. Then I had some pretzels and apple juice. Images below. Snacks not pictured.
A lot of people try to convince you to give blood by saying that it's no big deal to do - that it's always a pleasant experience with juice and cookies abundantly flowing. I've given blood a few times and usually without incident. However, I'm not going to go on a tangent about how wonderful and pleasant the experience can be. I don't think that's the point. My experience yesterday was actually kind of sucky.
Let me explain. I've got no problem with needles and have a pretty high tolerance for pain... so that wasn't the issue. No, the issue was in MY CRAZY NEUROTIC BRAIN. I'm no stranger to irrational anxiety and panic attacks.What happened, is halfway through the process, it occurred to me that I was, in essence, trapped. I had a needle in my arm attached to a bag of blood. I wasn't really going anywhere. "What if I feel like I'm going to get sick? What if I freak out? What if there's a fire?"
Yes. Total freak show. I know. Nice to meet you. The main fear was that I was going to have a panic attack and wouldn't be able to access an exit or my Xanax (which I use SPARINGLY when absolutely necessary and self calming techniques aren't cutting it.) So, the anxiety was about anxiety. It was a "meta-panic" as it were. Because of the anxiety and the blood loss, I began feeling flushed and a little dizzy. I was probably near fainting. The nurse lady laid me down and put cold compresses on me and afterwards fussed over me while I munched. Then, the rest of the day I was spent. Totally beat. Drained of blood and energy from the combination of giving and anxiety. Overall, I wouldn't necessarily call it a "positive" experience. Though I was mostly just embarrassed at my weak showing afterward.
I am going to do it again in 8 weeks. Did you know you can give blood 6 times a year? I've decided to start giving regularly - mostly due to this "negative" experience.
What? But Marissa... weren't you just saying how miserable it was?
1. Hardly misery. Discomfort, worry, and exhaustion are totally manageable if not enjoyable feelings.
2. I am a healthy individual. (BP 98/68 with a resting heart rate of 64 bpm... the nurse was very impressed) Today, I woke up feeling back to myself and ready for another day. There are TONS of people who don't have that luxury. Who are living every day in pain, discomfort, and drug induced stupors as a means to SURVIVE because their bodies are diseased. Who need blood regularly as a way to continue on in the hopes that one day they can be back to normal.
3.With centers all over the country claiming a blood shortage, now is not the time for me to be worried about having a 1/2 day of discomfort.
So overall... yeah, sometimes it kind of sucks. Big deal. For one, most people are not as crazy as me and are more worried about the needle and blood. For two, I just like to think that if I am ever (God forbid) in a circumstance that requires I receive blood (whether disease or accident caused) that there will be blood for me there. And, because I have that desire, it makes sense to me to provide it for others, as long as I am physically able, despite any discomfort it adds to my day.
Check out your local Red Cross or Community Blood Center. Make an appointment to give blood. It's a fairly easy way to make a difference and a great way to lose a quick pound.
Ok, that's not entirely true. Yesterday, I gave blood. I got a cool bandage with purple hearts and a great sticker so that everyone could see what a superhero I am. Then I had some pretzels and apple juice. Images below. Snacks not pictured.
A lot of people try to convince you to give blood by saying that it's no big deal to do - that it's always a pleasant experience with juice and cookies abundantly flowing. I've given blood a few times and usually without incident. However, I'm not going to go on a tangent about how wonderful and pleasant the experience can be. I don't think that's the point. My experience yesterday was actually kind of sucky.
Let me explain. I've got no problem with needles and have a pretty high tolerance for pain... so that wasn't the issue. No, the issue was in MY CRAZY NEUROTIC BRAIN. I'm no stranger to irrational anxiety and panic attacks.What happened, is halfway through the process, it occurred to me that I was, in essence, trapped. I had a needle in my arm attached to a bag of blood. I wasn't really going anywhere. "What if I feel like I'm going to get sick? What if I freak out? What if there's a fire?"
Yes. Total freak show. I know. Nice to meet you. The main fear was that I was going to have a panic attack and wouldn't be able to access an exit or my Xanax (which I use SPARINGLY when absolutely necessary and self calming techniques aren't cutting it.) So, the anxiety was about anxiety. It was a "meta-panic" as it were. Because of the anxiety and the blood loss, I began feeling flushed and a little dizzy. I was probably near fainting. The nurse lady laid me down and put cold compresses on me and afterwards fussed over me while I munched. Then, the rest of the day I was spent. Totally beat. Drained of blood and energy from the combination of giving and anxiety. Overall, I wouldn't necessarily call it a "positive" experience. Though I was mostly just embarrassed at my weak showing afterward.
I am going to do it again in 8 weeks. Did you know you can give blood 6 times a year? I've decided to start giving regularly - mostly due to this "negative" experience.
What? But Marissa... weren't you just saying how miserable it was?
1. Hardly misery. Discomfort, worry, and exhaustion are totally manageable if not enjoyable feelings.
2. I am a healthy individual. (BP 98/68 with a resting heart rate of 64 bpm... the nurse was very impressed) Today, I woke up feeling back to myself and ready for another day. There are TONS of people who don't have that luxury. Who are living every day in pain, discomfort, and drug induced stupors as a means to SURVIVE because their bodies are diseased. Who need blood regularly as a way to continue on in the hopes that one day they can be back to normal.
3.With centers all over the country claiming a blood shortage, now is not the time for me to be worried about having a 1/2 day of discomfort.
So overall... yeah, sometimes it kind of sucks. Big deal. For one, most people are not as crazy as me and are more worried about the needle and blood. For two, I just like to think that if I am ever (God forbid) in a circumstance that requires I receive blood (whether disease or accident caused) that there will be blood for me there. And, because I have that desire, it makes sense to me to provide it for others, as long as I am physically able, despite any discomfort it adds to my day.
Check out your local Red Cross or Community Blood Center. Make an appointment to give blood. It's a fairly easy way to make a difference and a great way to lose a quick pound.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Why don't you come home to me?
Somehow, it got to be August and no one told me.
Great news. The fact that it is August means that FOOTBALL SEASON is nearly upon us! Oh my stars and garters! This feeling is bittersweet though, as my favorite team and my favorite player (once seemingy invincibly conjoined) have now been rendered asunder. I am speaking of the Kansas City Chiefs and one Tony Gonzales. It pains my soul to dwell even for a moment on their parting. Here's what usually happens in my mind: "Ah, August. Football season is coming! This is wonderful! The long suffering off season is about to end and I'll finally be able to spend my Sundays (after church, of course) sitting on my couch in front of my TV yelling at the players, coaches, and refs to do my bidding! I am so happy! I can't wait to watch the Chiefs play and see To.... oh. Oh no. No Tony on the Chiefs? WHY GOD? WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?" I then go on to spend most of the rest of the day in the fetal position while weeping and gnashing my teeth.
I still am very happy to watch football (preseason starts in a week!) I am glad it is back, well, almost back. I'm still looking forward to getting myself pumped up before games by listening to jock jams and running around my house making wild cheering noises. I still hope the Chiefs do well. I even wish Tony G. luck on his... choke...new team...choke, the Atlanta Falcons. I'm sure I'll still have many great Sundays and Monday Nights (I intentionally didn't schedule a class) watching my favorite sport and getting into it. I just can't help but think that this season is one that I'll just have to "get through." I hope I'm wrong. Maybe this will be the best football season ever?
I wonder if this is what it was like for Packers fans when Brett Favre ended up with the Jets. I thought it was all pretty ridiculous at the time but now I am much more empathetic. It's like my heart has been ripped in half and I don't know how I can be loyal to both Tony AND the Chiefs.
I realize the Tony thing is old news... but I'm sure you're familiar with the stages of grief. I've just been hung up on the first one by consistently pushing KC's loss out of my mind. The long, dark off season was very conducive to denial. Now in the light of the upcoming start of football season, it's a lot harder to pretend that Tony will be wearing red. I think in order to best enjoy this season, I need to work my way through the grieving process and get to acceptance so that I can fully experience the wonder and merriment that is football. I'll do that now.
1. Denial - I've got this one down. Read the previous paragraphs for details.
2. Anger - THIS ISN'T FAIR! TONY IS A CHIEF! HE SHOULD RETIRE IN RED! WHO DO THE ATLANTA FALCONS THINK THEY ARE? AND WHAT IS TONY THINKING LEAVING KANSAS CITY? (you can tell from the caps lock that I am mad)
3. Bargaining - I'll splurge on season tickets if you come back, Tony. I'll vow to make a ton of money and then leave it all to the Chiefs when I die if Tony comes back. I'll show up 8 hours early for every game and cheer so loud that you won't even need a full stadium. I'll jeer at the other team with such visceral and intimidating anger that they will be putty in the defense's hands. I'll do anything, just bring Tony back!
4. Depression - Why even watch football? Sigh. Why even watch anything? Why even enjoy anything ever again? What does Kansas City even have to offer anymore? What does life even have to offer anymore? It's all pretty pointless. What's it matter now that Tony has moved on? I might as well just sit on my couch in the dark and cry into my #88 jersey.
5. Acceptance - I guess I can't bring Tony back to the Chiefs. It's not in my power to decide what he does with his football career, or what the Chiefs do with their personnel. I can either choose to move on with my life or torture myself with this loss forever. Football is something I have long enjoyed, and do not want to lose my enjoyment of this sport now. I guess I can support the Chiefs and still want good things for Tony Gonzales. I can't let this undesirable circumstance ruin an entire football season.
Phew. Ok. Let's get ready to rumble. Welcome to the big show.
Great news. The fact that it is August means that FOOTBALL SEASON is nearly upon us! Oh my stars and garters! This feeling is bittersweet though, as my favorite team and my favorite player (once seemingy invincibly conjoined) have now been rendered asunder. I am speaking of the Kansas City Chiefs and one Tony Gonzales. It pains my soul to dwell even for a moment on their parting. Here's what usually happens in my mind: "Ah, August. Football season is coming! This is wonderful! The long suffering off season is about to end and I'll finally be able to spend my Sundays (after church, of course) sitting on my couch in front of my TV yelling at the players, coaches, and refs to do my bidding! I am so happy! I can't wait to watch the Chiefs play and see To.... oh. Oh no. No Tony on the Chiefs? WHY GOD? WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?" I then go on to spend most of the rest of the day in the fetal position while weeping and gnashing my teeth.
I still am very happy to watch football (preseason starts in a week!) I am glad it is back, well, almost back. I'm still looking forward to getting myself pumped up before games by listening to jock jams and running around my house making wild cheering noises. I still hope the Chiefs do well. I even wish Tony G. luck on his... choke...new team...choke, the Atlanta Falcons. I'm sure I'll still have many great Sundays and Monday Nights (I intentionally didn't schedule a class) watching my favorite sport and getting into it. I just can't help but think that this season is one that I'll just have to "get through." I hope I'm wrong. Maybe this will be the best football season ever?
I wonder if this is what it was like for Packers fans when Brett Favre ended up with the Jets. I thought it was all pretty ridiculous at the time but now I am much more empathetic. It's like my heart has been ripped in half and I don't know how I can be loyal to both Tony AND the Chiefs.
I realize the Tony thing is old news... but I'm sure you're familiar with the stages of grief. I've just been hung up on the first one by consistently pushing KC's loss out of my mind. The long, dark off season was very conducive to denial. Now in the light of the upcoming start of football season, it's a lot harder to pretend that Tony will be wearing red. I think in order to best enjoy this season, I need to work my way through the grieving process and get to acceptance so that I can fully experience the wonder and merriment that is football. I'll do that now.
1. Denial - I've got this one down. Read the previous paragraphs for details.
2. Anger - THIS ISN'T FAIR! TONY IS A CHIEF! HE SHOULD RETIRE IN RED! WHO DO THE ATLANTA FALCONS THINK THEY ARE? AND WHAT IS TONY THINKING LEAVING KANSAS CITY? (you can tell from the caps lock that I am mad)
3. Bargaining - I'll splurge on season tickets if you come back, Tony. I'll vow to make a ton of money and then leave it all to the Chiefs when I die if Tony comes back. I'll show up 8 hours early for every game and cheer so loud that you won't even need a full stadium. I'll jeer at the other team with such visceral and intimidating anger that they will be putty in the defense's hands. I'll do anything, just bring Tony back!
4. Depression - Why even watch football? Sigh. Why even watch anything? Why even enjoy anything ever again? What does Kansas City even have to offer anymore? What does life even have to offer anymore? It's all pretty pointless. What's it matter now that Tony has moved on? I might as well just sit on my couch in the dark and cry into my #88 jersey.
5. Acceptance - I guess I can't bring Tony back to the Chiefs. It's not in my power to decide what he does with his football career, or what the Chiefs do with their personnel. I can either choose to move on with my life or torture myself with this loss forever. Football is something I have long enjoyed, and do not want to lose my enjoyment of this sport now. I guess I can support the Chiefs and still want good things for Tony Gonzales. I can't let this undesirable circumstance ruin an entire football season.
Phew. Ok. Let's get ready to rumble. Welcome to the big show.
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