Why don't you come home to me?

Somehow, it got to be August and no one told me.

Great news. The fact that it is August means that FOOTBALL SEASON is nearly upon us! Oh my stars and garters! This feeling is bittersweet though, as my favorite team and my favorite player (once seemingy invincibly conjoined) have now been rendered asunder. I am speaking of the Kansas City Chiefs and one Tony Gonzales. It pains my soul to dwell even for a moment on their parting. Here's what usually happens in my mind: "Ah, August. Football season is coming! This is wonderful! The long suffering off season is about to end and I'll finally be able to spend my Sundays (after church, of course) sitting on my couch in front of my TV yelling at the players, coaches, and refs to do my bidding! I am so happy! I can't wait to watch the Chiefs play and see To.... oh. Oh no. No Tony on the Chiefs? WHY GOD? WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?" I then go on to spend most of the rest of the day in the fetal position while weeping and gnashing my teeth.

I still am very happy to watch football (preseason starts in a week!) I am glad it is back, well, almost back. I'm still looking forward to getting myself pumped up before games by listening to jock jams and running around my house making wild cheering noises. I still hope the Chiefs do well. I even wish Tony G. luck on his... choke...new team...choke, the Atlanta Falcons. I'm sure I'll still have many great Sundays and Monday Nights (I intentionally didn't schedule a class) watching my favorite sport and getting into it. I just can't help but think that this season is one that I'll just have to "get through." I hope I'm wrong. Maybe this will be the best football season ever?

I wonder if this is what it was like for Packers fans when Brett Favre ended up with the Jets. I thought it was all pretty ridiculous at the time but now I am much more empathetic. It's like my heart has been ripped in half and I don't know how I can be loyal to both Tony AND the Chiefs.

I realize the Tony thing is old news... but I'm sure you're familiar with the stages of grief. I've just been hung up on the first one by consistently pushing KC's loss out of my mind. The long, dark off season was very conducive to denial. Now in the light of the upcoming start of football season, it's a lot harder to pretend that Tony will be wearing red. I think in order to best enjoy this season, I need to work my way through the grieving process and get to acceptance so that I can fully experience the wonder and merriment that is football. I'll do that now.

1. Denial - I've got this one down. Read the previous paragraphs for details.
2. Anger - THIS ISN'T FAIR! TONY IS A CHIEF! HE SHOULD RETIRE IN RED! WHO DO THE ATLANTA FALCONS THINK THEY ARE? AND WHAT IS TONY THINKING LEAVING KANSAS CITY? (you can tell from the caps lock that I am mad)
3. Bargaining - I'll splurge on season tickets if you come back, Tony. I'll vow to make a ton of money and then leave it all to the Chiefs when I die if Tony comes back. I'll show up 8 hours early for every game and cheer so loud that you won't even need a full stadium. I'll jeer at the other team with such visceral and intimidating anger that they will be putty in the defense's hands. I'll do anything, just bring Tony back!
4. Depression - Why even watch football? Sigh. Why even watch anything? Why even enjoy anything ever again? What does Kansas City even have to offer anymore? What does life even have to offer anymore? It's all pretty pointless. What's it matter now that Tony has moved on? I might as well just sit on my couch in the dark and cry into my #88 jersey.
5. Acceptance - I guess I can't bring Tony back to the Chiefs. It's not in my power to decide what he does with his football career, or what the Chiefs do with their personnel. I can either choose to move on with my life or torture myself with this loss forever. Football is something I have long enjoyed, and do not want to lose my enjoyment of this sport now. I guess I can support the Chiefs and still want good things for Tony Gonzales. I can't let this undesirable circumstance ruin an entire football season.

Phew. Ok. Let's get ready to rumble. Welcome to the big show.